Introduction: You and your family members are more than a mere case number. The system often doesn’t care about what is happening inside of you and your loved ones. We do. After all:
People don’t care how much you know, until they know you care.
This simple philosophy has guided me for the last several years. We care about what is happening inside of you as you undergo this process. However, lawyers are counselors at law, not psychology. Obsessing with researching the law or blowing up the phones because you have poor emotional control is not going to help you. Effective management of your emotions will.
>>> Parents and partners: this especially includes you <<<
This distinction is critical: too many people blow their lawyer’s phone with frequent calls or send long, multi-question emails because they are not managing their emotions and want the lawyer to comfort them with reassurance. Comfort sessions don’t help you and take time away from productivity. Comfort sessions are inappropriate, damages the effectiveness of your legal team, and has resulted in horrific case outcomes.
Your most important task is to effectively manage your emotions
People often ask what they can do to help me, help them. In addition to completing all other case matter assignments, you and your closest family members are expected to read no less than five (5) minutes at a time, three (3) times a day. Many have tried to duck this with something like “I read the bible” or “I talk with my pastor”. You are welcome to do both, but neither is an excuse to avoid this assignment.
If you are blowing up our phones every day, obsessively researching the law, sending multi-question emails, or both, you are not handling the stress effectively. You MUST be able to handle your emotions or you make poor decisions that could damage your case, or the case of someone you love. Far too many have turned two or three years of probation into decades in prison, simply because they did not take care of their emotional health.
Read, Listen & Watch:
Reawaken the Giant Within – Anthony Robbins. This FREE ebook will work on iOS and Android devices. Got to https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ebook/ and fill out the information requested. You will be asked for your name and email. A download link will then be sent to you, and you can use a “dump” email account if you have concerns about data mining.
Escape – Doctor Jay Faber. “[O]ne finding that is becoming increasingly clear is that individuals who end up in the legal system typically have brains that are not working so well.” Some people are falsely accused while others have just “messed up”. If you or someone you love has messed up, this will help.
Your doctor or a mental health therapist – This takes courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is overcoming that fear. Criminal prosecution is one of the most stressful events that can happen in a person’s life. Note for those charged with sexual offenses: do not discuss the facts of your case EXCEPT if undergoing a sexual offense risk assessment.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey. This is one of the most effective written and audio series you can use. Especially helpful for people who tend to worry excessively. For teenagers, consider The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens – Sean Covey. Teens love this book and they get a lot out of it.
Life Strategies – Phil McGraw. Before he was a television star, he was Oprah’s trial psychology strategist when she was sued by the cattle industry over a show she produced about mad cow disease. She won the suit in large part due to his influence.
Tip: Most authors have free videos and audios on Youtube or other video sites. Most video sites have audio and video suggestions. Feel free to use them. This is the most basic of basic lists. There are thousands of resources to help you maintain control of your single most important asset: your brain.
Unleash the Power Within Seminar – Anthony Robbins. By far the best seminar I have ever attended. Want to completely control your emotions with the most advanced psychological techniques available? This is the most effective method on this entire list. You will learn specific techniques to control your emotions using advanced neuro-linguistic programming psychology (NLP). www.tonyrobbins.com.
SPECT Diagnostic Evaluation and Comprehensive Treatment Plan – Amenclinics.com. Florida has a specific law and procedural rule allowing for less harsh sentences, even when the Punishment Code would normally require prison. Amen Clinics is the world leader in Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography (SPECT) brain imaging. Since 2005, I have used brain imaging based diagnostic evaluations in order to explain behavior and achieve charge reductions, dismissals, non-incarcerative, treatment based sentences. For some clients this is a required part of representation, for others it is optional. For everyone, it allows the creation of a total brain health solution. Healthy brain, healthy life.
One Final Note:
Help us help your case. This is the most important thing you can do. We take your emotional health and fitness seriously. Be prepared to be asked at each point of communication, “what book, video and audio have you used TODAY?” You expect an emotionally fit legal team and you are expected to obtain and maintain emotional fitness. You and your case are too important.
You will master your emotions or be a slave unto them
Copyright © 2004, 2015 Stephen G. Cobb
All rights reserved.